OMG

DON'T YOU PEOPLE LOVE CRISTIANO RONALDO!!!

Idk, i know he is a pretty boy and stuff, but he is just so good looking. lol.

You know what, i would love to have the honor of at least seeing him in a game or something that would be like a dream come true, lol.

You know i bet there are thousands of women, and men lol who are just in love with him lol.
But idk, hez just so omg.

U knw once i had a dream were we went like shopping, and just spent a week in our company. It was AWSOME, and i kicked his butt in a one on one game lol.

You know i think it's awesome that he is a daddy. And i am sure that, that baby is beautiful! i mean just look at his dad lol.
Cristiano did the same thing what Ricky Martin did. He had a surrogate mother. You know i just have this feeling about him, like he's hiding something, but idk lol.

Wish you the best Cristiano <3 you lol hehehehe

HEY YOU GUYS!

Wow it has been a WHILE lol.

Hope that you people have doing good, and that life is treating you well.

So, let me give you a quick update of what has happened.
ALOT has happened lol, i broke many hearts, and my heart got ripped to shreds.
So, i really did expand my list of men.
Justin, Dave, Jonathan, Elvis, and Chris (he's the latest lol)

Well with Justin, it was nice, we started talking (again) lol and we started falling for each other again lol.
But then came this day were i was home alone, and things happened. He didn't talk to me for a week. I wld call him or txt him and he'd be like "talk to me later" every single time. And a week passed and he told me "you home alone again, i want to come over." I just ignored it, because i knew what he wanted.
A month passed sense we talked and i thought we could be friends. But the first thing he said to me was, "when are you home alone agan, i hope this weekend cuz, i havent done anything in a month, and i need to relave myself."
I really felt awful, i felt i had been used. The worst part was he took something from me that i will never be able to get it back. And that i was stupid enough to do it when it was absolutely meaningless.

Dave was a very very short thing lol. He'z alot older than me but he was nice. But he lives so far, (all da way in hollister) and i see him as not ready to be gay. he'z come out to a few people, and he always talks to me as if im a super fem. Nd it really does annoy me.

Elvis was a huge shock to me. After being hurt so much, he was so nice to me. And i really did start to fall for him, and he fell for me to. It was one of the best week's ive had. And one day he tells me, "Frank ive been playing you, and i don't care for you at all." I was like what??? I tink that the only reason he did this was because he is an avid drug abuser. And i guess he didnt want me to get envolved with it or something.

Jonathan was a very short thing. We talked for a very short tome. It was ehh. I have like no emotion lol.

Chris is really a great thing. I'm just liking so much how he talks to me. Its just wonderful. I hope that things go great between us.

Let's see were things go lol.

OMG, idk lol hahahaha

Ok so, here i am, feeling very very random. For some reason i don't know what to write about today, so i guess ill tell u guys whts up.

So last weekend, my life felt like it was over. Parents got into a really big and ugly fight. And i got super close to running away. But then i membered that i had to take care of my sisters otherwise what kind of a brother would i b if i just left them to fend for themselves. They spent a whole day of being pissed with each other, and they didn't talk to each other at all, later in the day my dad went up to mom, they talked and i guess he apologized to her or something because things got like a hundred times better.

The next day we were going to go see my aunt, shes 93 years old, and when she called my dad she said that she believes that she doesn't have much time left. So we went to go see her and, and omg the smile that she got when she saw us. That morning before we left my dad and i had a little talk. And he asked me to forgive him for the position that i got placed in when my parents started to fight.

That day i was supposed to hang out with Sergio, member hes the guy that i met at the library, the one who's 24, u knw. u member him right people? Well i told him the day before that i couldn't go, and i could tell that he got a little bummed out. but i dont really care. So yesterday i message him to tell him lets reschedule, and hes all making excuses right and left, and im like, um no. So now im like, check please, need to move on to the next guy in my list. lol

And here i am now, single and having fun. OHHH and talking about having fun, ive been reading this new book by the lovely Janice Dickinson called Check Please the art of Dating, Mating, and Extracting. its an awsome book. I picked up a couple of things from it, so i really do recommend that u guys pick up ur copy.

Hey hey you guys

Ok i know that it has been like forever since I have gone here to tell you guys what has been going on.

So as many of you know I have been seeing this guy named Orlando. He is 17, and he really belongs on Glee. Like no kidding, that guys eat, breaths, and sleeps choir. Things with him have been really great. But all that really changed, and took a turn for the worst.

Lately he has been really been pushing me away, and to be honest i am starting to get scared. Sure we've known each other for like almost a month and a half, but the last week Ive started to actually have really strong feeling for him.

But i really do not know what is wrong with him, i really do have the feeling that he wants me to leave him him alone for good. Sure i call him and we hang out, but for some really weird reason he is starting to get all awkward. It would just be us to, I'd hold him and we'd cuddle for a while, then he would start to move around and just literally push me off him. And I would be like "Why you do that?" And like always he would stay silent. His behavior lately its really starting to piss me off, i really do know what game he is playing, hes not talking to me at all so that I can forget about him with time. "It never works, i know because I've played that game many times." So really, im not going to do this, i really do like him, but i do appreciate that he is letting me go gently.

In other news, i was at the library yesterday, and ran into this really cute guy. He was trying to get a book off of the top shelf. He figured that he would have to use a chair, i came over helped him get the book down. He thanked me, i looked at the book and it was "My Life", by Bill Clinton. I just looked at him and asked why this book? All he said was why not.
Then he asked me what book i was reading, i took out my Ipad and told him i was reading Janice Dickinsons book. Well as soon as i was finished he started asking me about the Ipad, and if its good and stuff. I was kinda yeah, its worth it. I let him fool around with it, and he kinda liked it.
We introduced our selves, and talked for like about an hour. (His name is Sergio by the way)

It was nice talking to him, he then asked me how old i was. "17 i said" And as always i get the same reaction. "What your 17, you look alot older than that" So i asked him, " How old did you thin i was?" He just said, "you look like your 21, i was guna ask you if you wanted to go out to a club or something?" Well at that instant i turned bright red, i mean red. THen i asked the god awful question, "how old are you?" He simply answered "im 24." To be honest people i really did think he was like like, 20, 21 at the most.

So we just talked for a little while longer, and yah.

I asked him if he would like to go to the movies on Sunday, and he said yeah., so i have a date on sunday lol.

Ohh and get this. When i first saw him I SWEAR TO GOD!!! i thought it was my old high school crush. ( If you don't know who that is, get with the program people.) I mean he looked an older version of him though. So that was a huge bonus for Sergio. Ohh, and he is way more buff, so thats another plus. Bottom line, Sergio is hot! but i mean HOT!

I know i know, shame on me, hes older. Yah i don't really care, i have a date, he's single im single. He's cute, im not that bad looking. And yah.

Little nervous though, wonder what hes guna do while were at the movies. lol

Wow, am i actually happy?

Hey people I know that it has been forever sense i have been posted something new here, but nothing has happened. But incase you missed out, let me give you an update.

I finally severed the ties with Marcel. Im really happy because i did have strong feelings for him but I could never say that i could see myself with him. And i have a super strong feeling that i am the one he is never going to get over, because i never gave him that chance, so hes guna spend the rest of his life wondering, "what if?"

Anyway i won the student of the month award at my school, and that was back like last week, last Friday of April i was awarded it. It was one of the better times of my life. I also won an other award from the old folks home were i did my hours, and they gave me one for volunteer of the year. so yay me lol.

Aside from the awards lol, i met someone his name is Orlando, hes mexican a tad shorter than me, and is the cutest guy in the world. Of all the guys that i have talked to/gone out with i have never felt happy, i always was like, ok when is this gunna be over.

Last night i met Orlando, and we had what i would say a nice moment. We were under the stars, we cuddled and made out. it was one of the best and happiest moments of my life. But i do not know about him, one thing that i hate is that he is bi. And i do not want to get hurt you know. Im worried, and i hate this. He works late, and i would only be able to see him on weekends and he says that i have competition. To be honest, im scared, and do not know what to do.

What do you guys think?

My Daughter!!!

Her name is Diana Rose and she is the best girl in the entire world!!!!!!!!
She is nine months old, full of life and so energetic. OHH one more thing, but guess wht, one thing you guys were not expecting of me she is my beloved daughter!!!!




Ok, well not she is my niece but I love her like a daughter. I just lover her you know, and I just feel like this big huge like happy feeling when i see her. Im guna be honest, my niece is one of the few people in this world that can make me genuinely smile every time i see her.

I went to go see her this weekend, and it was like the best thing ever. The first thing she did when she saw me was smile big. This little girl is a big smiler. She is just a little bundle of joy, and just wonderful.

I hope that when she gets bigger she is still that same happy person that she is now.
She is little but i all ready told her, that no matter what i am always there for her.
Love you my daughter.

Talk about awkward !!!!

Ok, talk about awkward. Ok, so apparently there is this guy at school. And hes a freshman, and i was just like being stupid, and asked him. Would u to prom with me? ( Of course i was kidding, cuz who in there right mind would ask him to any dance in that fact.

What ever so i asked him, and I started laughing, and i went back to my conversation with Jessica. When all of sudden, he tells me, yah i'd go to your prom with you.

And i was like. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? I was all like dude i am just kidding, and he was all like, well im not. Then he goes on and tells me that he likes, me and he thinks im cute.

Mind you this was like the first time, that we have like EVER talked. like ever. And im like, ok who are, your weird.

Then he goes on to ask me for my number. So i did, but it was the number, for the rejection hotline. I got the number from ma friend Claudia, (another freshman, hella cool girl btw.) And yah, i could just imagine his face, when he heard the recording. I bet it must have been hilarious.

So, yah, now hez like hovering around me, randomly facebooking me, so im like. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO go away. I feel awkward, and totally weirded out. And just a little like, BLAHHH to be honest.

All Hell is Going to Break Loose

Never in my life have I ever felt true hatred for another individual. I always thought that it was impossible for me to hate another human being. Sure I can get mad and pissed off, and hold the occasional grudge. But never hate.

But I was proven wrong, I;m not going to go into detail because i don't want to get pissed off again.

All day I've been hiding it, hope I did a good job, I have a feeling I did because no body came up to me "ohh whats wrong?"

I seriously can't let this get to me, not now. I will not let this fuck me over. I have far to much at stake, the play being one of them. I have worked way to damn hard on it, i will not let this ruin me.

I seriously do want to fast forward to when my life is normal. And I "hope to god" am a political powerhouse in my country, and an individual of great power and influence.

I really do want to fight back, but I have to stay cool and let the first shot be fired. But i saw to you all now, it shall not come from me. For I am the better party.

Just feeling random. lol

Ok. so here i am chilling with the girls, lol. Yah, dnt really feel like blogging lol. Were on this thing called Chat Roulette.

Its so funny and stupid. All you do, is video chat with random people in the world.
So yah were just being dorks lol.

C yah peeps.

Tired!!!!!

I'm really super tired. I shit you not people, i went to bed at 3:10 this morning.
I had a lot, thinking to do last night.
And I also saw Milk.
I just love that movie.

I'm really really sleepy. Its 1st period and i'm all ready falling asleep.
Not looking forward to play practice. I have this really, REALLY huge feeling that I am like going to pass out or something.

You know, I all ready did my APUSH project, and it looks great, so I think I am just going to take a nap. My head is already hurting like crazy, and I have five more periods to go. Fuck.

"Sigh"

Had a very, weird day today.

But kicked ass in practice today.

I really am starting to get nervous about the play. Like some of us, don't know some of our lines. Some dance numbers are, not as good as others.

But guess what, we always make it in the end. YAY!!

Heads people. as the play gets closer. The less frequent,my updates will be.

Love you people. MUAH!!

Ehhhhh

Not much happening. Just having play practice and school.

Play practice today, was a bitch. Im so happy that my dance bit did not happen yet. otherwise i would have died, and Ms.Carroll would have killed me.

I have 90% of the dance down so ughh. And when i get i get. I am never stopping to practice it, until the play is over.

shit

ok so here we r in school. There is some guy running around close to my school with a GUN!!!! Yah we can hear the sound of the sirens. its scary

Shocked

Talk about shock.
So here I am doing my homework, and Josh calls me. I was like hey whats up.
Then he just just shrikes at me. having a bad day.
I told him, sorry to hear that.
But Josh, says. Don't be sorry for me. I can handel things on my own.

I sort of got kinda of annoyed, cuz here i am trying to be nice. And here he is yelling at me. I dnt think so.
So i really did start bitching at him.

I was like, how dare you, talk to me like this. you barely know me. Then he said something that just threw me over the edge.
"well i know you enough to figure you'r easy."

I was like. Bitch, you did not just fucking say that to me. How fucking dare you say that. You know I just started tlkng 2 u in da 1st place cuz i figured, ehh ur desperate be nice.I then told him to never call me again and i hung up.

U knw how dare he say that to me.
ME OFF ALL PEOPLE!!!

Anyway, today I kicked ass on my play practice. Yay me!

On a much lighter and happy note. Andrew and I are friends now. Seriously I'm like breathing a sigh or relief
cuz now life is going to be a much more cool between us. Sides we both have a huge road ahead of us, with some other issues.
But like i told him, I will give it my best to help him.
But more importantly I told, him that i just want him to be happy.

Also tomorrow, i have my interview with my recruiter. A little nervous, just think that i am going to make a huge fool of myself or something u knw, I am seriously going to have to be as straight as possible. Maybe I'll ask Andrew for tips on how 2 b straight lol. jkjkjk

OMG!!!!!

Ok, so usually I put pictures on my blog, but I am to excited to do so today.

After I got picked up today, I came home, did my homework and went to Costco.
At Costco I went off to do my own thing, and i went off to go to the place were all the books are on sale.
I picked up Sarah Palin's book, Going Rouge. (I was just curious) then this guy walks up to me and says.
OMG, please tell me that you are not going to buy that book.
And I said, well whats wrong if i decide to buy it?
He then said the funniest thing ever, "Its Sarah Palin for god sakes."
All i could was laugh.

We then introduced ourselves, he was all like im Josh. And i was like i'm Frank.
Then we started talking about politics, and started to share Palin quotes lol.
It was funny how he said, "I can see Russia from my house!"
We just kept talking, and talking. Then ten minutes passed, and my mom calls me. "Were are you? We are leaving!"
I tell Josh, that I had to go. I say bye. Nice talking to you. Then he asks me, "hey do you have a phone?" And I said yah.
He then he ask's me for my number. And I give it to him.
We've been txting for a while now. And yah, he'z cute.
Wish me luck guys. :D

Im seriously thinking, 2 myself. Really God? And the timing. I seriously am still in shock, and disbelief.

Im going to join the National Guard

So, I am having some serious thoughts of joining the National Guard.
Many of you might be thinking Frank you are completely crazy. You are going to get killed. But as many of you know the National Guard is the home Army, that deals with National Emergencies.

Main reason that i want to join is to help me get through college. Me personally i know that i can afford college without any help. But i am doing to help the cost, because i don't want to be in debt my whole life. But the main number one reason is to serve my Country.

I all ready have this huge thing planned out for my military service.
I am being completely serious with this, I'm so serious about that a recruiter is coming to school on Friday around 10 am to interview me.

I'm just a little nervous, I have so many questions to ask the recruiter, but one thing is that I am not afraid to die for my country.

Sigh.......

So as many of you know I have a very big crush on Andrew. It has
been a very difficult time for me because I really do like him. But I
have to let him go,and move on. It's really hard for me to do this
because I feel like I am slowly dying on the inside.

I hate this feeling, i know that he is straight and that nothing would
have had happened between us.

But at least we are friends now, and i really do wish that the
friendship between him and I will never go away.

This is going to be the most difficult time for me,trying to move on
and keep and establish this new friendship.

We were at a retreat these past two days. Last night I really did need to
talk to him. I started to tell him that I was really sorry that i ever asked him out to Sadies,
and that I told him about my real feelings.
Then I really just started crying without control.
I was heartbroken, that night I cried my self to sleep.
The next morning, i just cried and cried. But on the way to the back,
home on the bus, i really did try to put it all behind me, and to forget.
But I wasn't strong enough, and i cried all the way back to school.

But I guess this is for the best, I am just really scared that I will
not be strong enough to be in this ordeal and that I will end up collapsing
emotionaly.

As I told him, the fact that I know that nothing will happen and me
having such strong feelings for him. It does make me die inside, you feel
hollow and helpless. But I at least will have the everlasting love and
support of my friends.

Andrew I'm glad that you were not a jerk, and did not toy with my emotions,
just like countless others have. And also that you are willing to put this behind us.
I'm sorry that I ever did this to you, im happy that it wasn't
awkward for you. But it really is heartbreaking for me.

Should I Give Up?

Okay so yah i have a huge crush on him. But I don't know if I should just give up on him, because if I don't I am just going to end up seriously hurting myself when the reality of things starts to crash in on me. But if i do give up, then that makes me like a quitter and I just, idk

On the other hand im sure that nothing will ever happen between us. I'm, just scared you know. I don't want to be taken for a fool, or for some desperate guy, but at the same time i really don't want 2 let him go . I just really really do like him, but like my mom said. If I really do like him then i should let him go. I don't think i can do that though.

I really do not know what to do.. what do you think i should do?

So anyways the dance is tonight, and if he does go to the dance, i really really REALLY do hope that I could dance, at least one song with him.

Nervous as hell!

Aside form the fact that i have a mass tomorrow a test and i quiz, that is not the main reason why i am nervous.

As you have guessed it, I am super nervous about the dance. I have an idea of what i will wear, but as many of you guys figured that is what i am not nervous about.

If you read yesterdays post then you would know exactly why I am nervous. I know it may be taboo for some fo you, but me its like a big thing lol.

I know that it may like never happen, but i really wish that i would at least have one dance with him. I really, really, REALLY do hope that it happens. But i highly doubt it ohh well.

One big thing that i am, hoping is that i do not make a huge fool of myself regardless if he is there or not. I have the tendency to really get into the music and i just start dancing like crazy. lol. And i always have to watch out that i am not doing something that would get me into trouble. But i always make sure that i keep it PG-13 lol.

Anyways on a side note, I found out today, that my Junior Ring Ceremony and my AP Test is on the same exact day.
I am so sad, and pissed.
Sad and pissed because i have been looking forward to it for two years. I finally arrive to my Junior and I have to take the AP test. Not happy. And to top it off I'm missing out on singing one of my most favorite mass songs. I just really want to cry.
Didn't the administration see that they had some conflicting dates? There is nothing I can do anyway, I just pray that I do well on my test, and that the others really do enjoy the ceremony.
Also there are only 6 of us that are missing. 3 of them (including me) are really bummed out, the other 3, really do not care. Just really sad, but hey what can i do.

Well i have another mass tomorrow morning, and i have to "look" rested and sing my heart out.
Night People.

My Crush

Ok. So for starters, I really like this guy at my school. His name is Andrew, sure he is shorter than me, but he has this persona about him that , just idk. lol

It all started about a year ago, we were Sophomores (were Juniors now). I had this huge thing for this other guy my freshman year. But then i saw him for who he really is, and now i dont like the guy anymore.

Last year i had like this huge self-esteem boost. And i started to really come out of my shell, and i noticed Andrew. It was at lunch, and he was with a group of friends. And i was with my friends, i happened to look over and i saw him. I was like, WOW!!!! Ever sense then, I've always thought of him as very very cute.

But it wasn't until this year that I really did start to notice him. His smile, and he is very built. So that is a plus lol.

He gives me that butterfly feeling every time i see, him. And i just feel funny in a good way. lol

Me i have a reputation for being a huge bitch, and he idk i just open up, and i let my guard down. (Lol as i type this im getting that butterfly feeling in my stomach lol.) IDK i just really really like him :)

I have 3 classes with him, 1,2 and 4. And i tell my self everyday, "try to make an impression"
But like always I end up not doing anything, or when i do I end up looking like a fool.

So there is this dance, coming up on Friday and i want to ask him to it. But like really ask him. Sure i did allready at school, but it was a little awkward. And i was turning so red, i was nervous as hell my pulse was racing. Then i saw him, and i was like. Ohhh shit, moment of truth.

So then i asked him. "Hey Andrew are you going to Sadies?" (Thts the name of the dance btw) And he said "That yes, he might go." And the first thing came to my head was, ohhh shit he has a date. Well i immediately said "Oh, with who?" He just said, "no one." So then just as i was about 2 ask him. he said "u better not ask me to the dance." So i said, "Yah i am." Then i said it, "Andrew would you go 2 the dance with me?" And he just looked at me, i looked at him, and i was thinking to myself. "Ohh shit, way to go Frank, you totally fucked up big time. Way to go" after a long pause of like what seemed an hour, all he said, "maybe ill c you there." And i was "cool"

Oh my god, my heart was never racing any faster. Ive have sung infront of 350 people, done musical performances infront of like 400-500 people. And i always kept my cool. But that was the first time that i was actually nervous.

I really really REALLY like this guy, and he knows that, and he is really cool about it. I mean he's not proud of it duhh. He'z straight but. At least he is not being an ass about it. And i really really do appreciate that.

Well i think i'ma leave it at that,
And I leave with these last few word.
Night, Andrew.